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Love,Loss and Miscarriage
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Denial - How could I not have known?

10/8/2013

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Even today, many years later, I wonder how did I not know that something was wrong when I had my miscarriage. I think deep down I knew but was not willing to Admit it to anyone including myself especially as things seemed to be going well from that night till we heard the Doctor confirm that we had miscarried.............I know that there is more I want to say but can not find the words for at this time.
 When I had my Ectopic pregnancy I knew that something was not right. I knew enough from talking to a friend who went through the same thing that I needed to have it checked out for peace of mind and my health. I had more than just the loss to deal with if I was right, I had my life. From the Monday of that week I knew that we were going to loose the pregnancy. I  tried to remain hopeful that I was wrong, now enter DENIAL. In this case denial for me was a coping mechanism to try and go on with my normal day to day activities. This time I had a young son to take care of and he needed me to be there for him. 
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    Denial and Isolation 

        Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept the loss.  It's a defense mechanism and perfectly natural.

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