It has been a week since we learned that we were fortunate to be given the gift of being parents again. The journey for many to being parents for many is an easy straight foreword road. Ours has been more like a rollercoaster. The first time the ride was scary and ended in sadness. The second time it was an amazing ride that ended with a beautiful boy waiting at the end of the ride. The third time  the ride started and then had to be shut down for maintenance with our ectopic. For many, perinatal loss will not end up in a happy ending, but it did for us. I hope for those of you reading this it will for you. 

It has been an amazing time of getting ready for this next ride in our life. We have started to plan for this new ride and with our support network I know it will be good ending. I have gotten the confirmation from my doctor of the pregnancy, had my case referred to a OBGYN, got tests ordered and done. We also have an Ultrasound next week, to date and make sure the pregnancy is viable. MY OBGYN has also ordered additional blood work every other day for the next week to help make sure things are going well. While I am scared of the idea that we could have a repeat of past lost pregnancies, I know that I have the best team looking after my health and that I am in good hands.

I hope to be able keep writing every week, share my updates and thoughts with everyone. Thank you for your support.

For those that have never experienced miscarriage or any other types of perinatal loss would say   see the doctor and get ready for the baby. Those of us who have experienced perinatal start thinking about how can I be prepared for the best and worst case scenario? How can I protect my heart while still being happy for this opportunity to have another chance at being a mom?
Getting ready for me is more than just getting my mind around the fact that I am pregnant, but also the reality that every pregnancy has the opportunity to end in loss. I am trying to keep a positive but vigilant mindset as this pregnancy proceeds.

I think that physically getting ready for the rest of your pregnancy is very similar for all women regardless of whether you have experienced perinatal loss or not. Beyond the obvious ones of eating better, taking a prenatal, stop smoking and drinking, I think being active and stopping the caffeine intake are important. I think the no coffee thing will be the hardest for me. I know that I can drink decaf, but it is just not the same and I feel tired enough as it is with this pregnancy.

I know that when we found out that we were pregnant that I was so happy that this month we were lucky enough to that plus however faint it was. I also have been feeling the wondering thoughts of is this one going to be viable and in the right place. What is that feeling in my tummy, is it normal or not? I have just been reminding myself to take it one day at a time, tell myself that I am doing all I can and that things will be ok.

I have to share this great news or what I hope will continue to be great news for me and my family. We are pregnant according to our pregnancy test taken yesterday. I did also go to the doctor and get a blood test to assist in confirming our pregnancy. I get the sense that he was shocked that we had gotten a positive home pregnancy  result being that my last menstrual cycle.
This has gotten me wondering if maybe we are little more pregnant than we think that we are.  THis is one of the reasons that I asked for blood test as opposed to the urine test to confirm our pregnancy. The second reason is related to our last loss which was an ectopic pregnancy. I want to make sure we have  a starting HCG number and hope it will give us an idea how far along we are.
OK, now the symptoms that make me sure that I am pregnant and possibly further along than I think I am. Well, for the last three days My breasts have hurt and I have felt like crap. How does crap feel like you ask? I have felt nausea, sore back and just not myself. The other day I also found myself feeling very tired and it was only noon. I just now need to figure out how I can take a nap everyday at work and also how to deal with decreasing the amount of coffee I drink. I dont drink alot compared to most people I know but I do drink enough that I now my doctors will say to stop. 
Well keep posted as I plan to blog more often as each week my body changes and I continue this amazing journey of pregnancy.
I can't wait for my first ultrasound to confirm we have a viable pregnancy, and here my babies heartbeat.

While I know that we have only been trying to get pregnant for two months now, I still can't help but feel <Enter Emotion Here>.  To name a few, I am sad, frustrated, depressed and more.

Can't think at the moment and will write more later.

A couple of days later and thinking again like a rational and logical human being. I know that I am an emotional person, always have been and will be. I am a Cancer in the Zodiac signs. I know that my chances of getting pregnant each moth has gotten smaller than when we got pregnant last time or the time before that. I don't know the exact percentage and prefer not to as I know it is small. 
I just need to keep up the reminder that " Que cera cera, what ever will be will be, the future is not our to see, que cera cera" - love this song