I have been thinking carefully how to write this section and think I will answer it based on the 5 stages of Grief. How we all answer this question will be different based on the stage of grieving that we are in, the level of support we have and our internal strength. It is most important for us to remember during these times, that we are stronger than we think we are are there is suppport out there for us if we just reach out and ask.  In my case both losses happened in the middle of major holidays and I was able to still find a reason to celebrate when they came about. 
Denial and Isolation - I think that this would have to be the hardest stage next to anger to going through during the holidays. A person may feel guilty for not feeling like participating in family functions or keeping family traditions that have been going on for years. It is important I think to remember that we can still celebrate the fact that we have family that love us and will be there when we are ready to break our isolation. Family traditions are a wonderful way to remember the past and spend time with family. The great thing about traditons, they change from time to time and can always be done next year. For some, traditions may be a way to start moving foreword.
Anger - During the anger stage you may not think that there is any positive way to answer this question. I would have to say that there is as moving foreword is about knowing that despite how we are feeling now, this to will end, During this stage we need to celebrate the fact that we are passionate about those things and people that mean so much to us. The holidays for some is a religeious event and for me, they are a time to spend with family. Family is that unconditional love that helps us move foreword and during this stage the knowledge that we are love loved is a reason to celebrate.
Bargaining - Think of new years resolutions and how hard it is to keep them. We need to celebrate that we are capable of making changes in our lives if we do it for the right reasons and not because it is a custome of the holiday. As the Serentiy prayer says ``...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace....``
Depression - During the depression satage of grieving it is important to celebrate those who stand by you, who hold you up and give you a swift kick in the butt when you need it.
Acceptance - YOu may think that this would be the easiest stage to be going through during the holidays and I would have to say for many this is not the case. I find that sometimes during holidays when I watch a special movie or eat  special food, the memories can come back. In most cases I find these moments are short as I can use my new coping skills to work through the moment.

There is always one very important thing to celebrate at anytime of the year and at any way of feeling: I am loved, I can love and I am alive.

Even today, many years later, I wonder how did I not know that something was wrong when I had my miscarriage. I think deep down I knew but was not willing to Admit it to anyone including myself especially as things seemed to be going well from that night till we heard the Doctor confirm that we had miscarried.............I know that there is more I want to say but can not find the words for at this time.
 When I had my Ectopic pregnancy I knew that something was not right. I knew enough from talking to a friend who went through the same thing that I needed to have it checked out for peace of mind and my health. I had more than just the loss to deal with if I was right, I had my life. From the Monday of that week I knew that we were going to loose the pregnancy. I  tried to remain hopeful that I was wrong, now enter DENIAL. In this case denial for me was a coping mechanism to try and go on with my normal day to day activities. This time I had a young son to take care of and he needed me to be there for him. 

 Denial is the first stage in most models that I have seen on grief and the grieving process. In my case I was stuck at the denial stage for awhile, partly out of not knowing and the other part not wanting to think it could be happening or have happened. To better understand what I mean let me tell you the story.  After we found out we were I did not feel so well. I had cramps, very uncomfortable and just wanted to cuddle in front of the tv. Since there was no discharge and the pregnancy seemed to continue I just thought it was nothing to worry about.
Being my first pregnancy I thought nothing of it. When we had the Ultrasound, it became all to real. I still felt that this couldn't really be happening. How could we not have known? Why did it not leave my body? What did I do wrong???????????????

Depending on where you read there  are 5 stages of Grieving. For some the grieving process moves from one to five. For others, it may be from stage one, then three then one then two. The grieving process is different for everyone  and every loss. I know, I have lost two pregnancies and grieved both in the unique way they needed. It the same way we grieve other losses like parents, grandparent or friends. The one thing that stayed the same were the stages of grieving I went through. The five stages we will look at include Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.