|Shedding Light on the M Word||
For anyone that has ever suffered from depression either due to a loss or just life will know that we often spend alot of time faking being ok.
I am writing this blog today as it is the anniversary of a loss in my life. UNlike some losses that I have experienced, I am unable to forget the exact date of the loss as a good date comes immediately before it. I know that some people reading this may ask why I would want to "forget" the date of a loss? Why not remember the exact date of each and every loss that I have experienced and remember them every year? If you take a moment to write down every lose you have ever experienced there would be a lot. For example I lost my stuffed dog as a kid, a couple of cats, our hamster, my grandma's, grandpa's two pregnancies and that is just the short list. It does not include the other losses that I have experienced in my life and the people who's losses I have share in.
I instead choose to honour their memories and live my life as tribute to their lives. I choose to let their whole lives impact me in a positive way and not dwell on the fact that their lives or time with me ended on a particular date. Now having said that today is an anniversary of the loss of my dad. Today I decided to keep my son home from daycare with me as a help to keep me balanced. While I have accepted the loss of my dad, I still find myself feeling a bit depressed, or you could say kinda blah. There is nothing better for the soul than the laughter of a child who yet to experience much loss in their lives. Who takes each day as a gift and is more worried about where his train is than the fact that this is the anniversary of his grandpa's death
Depression has been defined in many ways depending on the type, level and reason for ones depression. After finding this picture on Pinterest, I started to think of it in relation to contemplation. The stage of depression in the grieving process is a time to reflect on a persons loss and just feel the loss. In my experience when a person lets themselves grieve properly, it becomes easier to move on so to speak. It is a time to contemplate what happened and how we will make it through it.
The challenge in contemplating "properly" the loss is taking enough time to feel the loss while not dwelling on it. I have used the quotes arou
In planning to write this blog on depression I have been doing some reading and thinking on how to write this section. How does one really share how sad a person feels when they have lost a pregnancy. I still don't know if I will be able to share how truly sad or blue I felt as I worked through the reality of what was happening me. I will try to through this blog on depression to give a look into how it was for me to move beyond Blue.
Prior to my losses I did suffer from clinical depression for a year and a half before overcoming it, When we experiences our miscarriage, I worried that as a result of my previous depression that the loss would send me into another deep depression. As a result of my support net work, coping skills and inner strength I still was sad as I grieved but not tje kind of depression as before.