I am amazed how much impact the simple act as taking the time to listen  to another can have on the healing process. It works for all types of healing and can be good for both people in the conversation. I am finding the more I listen to other and the more I share my story the stronger I feel. I know that no matter how much time has passed or how much I have moved on, I will always have a special place in my heart for each loss I have experienced.
So often when we hear that a friend or family member has experienced a loss, most don't know what to say. Sometimes the best thing to say is I am here if you need  me or say nothing at all, simply listen. When I first found we had lost a pregnancy, I know that I needed alot of people to just listen. Then as I moved further in my grieving I appreciated and found it helpful to hear the stories of others, knowing that I was not alone. Now I feel it is healing for me to share my story when needed, listen when required and just be available to all who could use a kind ear to listen.

This is dedicated to a family member who just experienced her own loss.

Whether it is hearing that you have had another loss, or a friend or co-worker has, it is never easy.  IT is sometimes hard to find the right words to express what you are feeling about the situation.  In the case of my second loss, I knew early that things were not right. I thought of a dear friend who had been through the same thing and knew it was what was happening to me. While I did not want to believe that life could be so cruel I knew that I was lucky. 
You may ask why I am saying I was lucky?  Well our second loss came as a result of an ectopic pregnancy.  This is a pregnancy that is not in the uterus and in my case it was in the fallopian tubes.  After three ultrasounds and blood tests it was confirmed and I choose to have surgery to remove it before it caused damage to my tubes which can be dangerous. So yes I think I am lucky to have known the warning signs and sought medical treatment immediately.
I have now had several people confide in me in regards to their miscarriages and each time I hear of one  it hits me hard. I know how much they wanted the baby and it just was not meant to be. It is hard to know how much to say and often what to say depending on the relationship to you. Sometimes I find the best is to say if you need me, call. If you want to talk, I will listen. If you need to cry with somebody, I will cry with you. 

I am dedicating this blog posting to a kind lady who is going through her own loss right now.

What is going on?  When we first found out we had a miscarriage my first thought was what did I do wrong? What could I have done differently to prevent it from happening? The answer was nothing. I have to thank my doctor for her words of advice and support. While it took awhile to get over the fact that it had happened and I could not have done anything to stop  it, the good news is I  did. This is my reason for starting this Blog, to let others know that they are not alone and as with all loss time heals. 
In doing further reading on this question I read that 1 in 4 or some say 1 in 3 pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. While these numbers may seem high, I think that this because many women suffer their loss alone. The other reason could be that in many cases the loss happens so early that the woman does not know that it happens.

In every story there are two sides and in the case of miscarriage there are  two people. The focus is so often on the women that has the miscarriage that sometimes the fathers are forgotten about.   During the loss it is important for both people to support each other through it.  
I know that while I was going through my losses that there were times when I felt the need to spend some times taking care of me. I always felt supported by my partner and family. I know that after our second loss I spent more time focused on my husband  and our son. We all need someone to listen and help us to heal.

The healing process takes time and I know how hard it is. I lost the last pregnancy September 2012 and I am still dealing with the pain. This website and blog are my attempt to continue the healing and possibly help another person in the process. I don't know what else to write, so I stop here for the moment.