With the first child, we parents have the luxury of time to get ready for the event including:
- Time to sleep when you are tired
- The ability to say I am just going to do nothing actually be able to do nothing.
- Just Enjoying your pregnancy
You don't have anyone else to worry about needing to take care of and put their needs above your own. The joy of being a second time parent is you know that you can do this, you have already made the rookie parent mistakes and you are a good parent. With the second or third the questions change from Can I to:
- How will my other child or children be as a sibling?
- Will he/she feel left out when the baby comes home?
- Will they be jealous?
- HOW DO YOU GET THEM READY FOR THE NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY????????????
I think for me the biggest question I have been working on is how to get my son ready for the baby. I want him to accept the baby and be an awesome big brother. I know that when we bring the baby home he will need to take time to adjust to and figure out his new place in the family. I can only hope that we will be able to prepare him enough that he knows we love him forever and will like him for always.
We have already started to try getting him ready for the baby by talking about the changes he has noticed going on with mom. He can tell you where the baby is if you ask and smiles most of the time when asked the question. I have asked him if he will help me with changing the baby, he answers YES. When I Ask if he will share his toys, the answer changes to NO. I guess all we can do at the moment is:
- Keep talking about the baby and remind him how much we love him.
- Spend time doing things he enjoys so he learns that no matter what else is going on we love him.
- Ready books on where babies come from and the great things about being a big brother.
- And when the baby is born, make special time just for him along with asking for his help in taking care of his new sibling.